美丽新世界
凯撒！凯撒！凯撒！凯撒！ Caesar! Caesar! Caesar! Caesar!
士兵们，神谕显灵 Soldiers, the oracles have spoken.
下个月，我们将入侵大不列颠 With the new moon, we shall invade the island of Great Britain.
凯撒！凯撒！ Caesar! Caesar!
士兵们，全世界的目光都注视着你们 Soldiers, the eyes of the world are fixed on you.
为了罗马的荣誉而战 You are the glory of Rome!
凯撒！凯撒！凯撒！ Caesar! Caesar! Caesar!
高卢上下 This whole country,
即便是最小的村庄，也向凯撒纳税 even the smallest village, pays taxes to Caesar.
凯撒！凯撒！凯撒！ Caesar! Caesar! Caesar!
- 你答应告诉他 - 说什么？ - You promised to tell him. - What?
别装蒜了 迄今为止，一座高卢村庄仍在顽强抵抗 About the small Gaulish village that's still resisting us.
凯撒大帝才不关心呢 What does he care? He has other worries.
- 忙你的去吧 - 走着瞧，我会亲自告诉他 Is that so? I'll tell him.
你敢，我会在凯撒大帝面前揭发你 And I'll tell him you sell army rations
私自出售军粮，用赚得的钱在罗马修了一座私人宫殿 to build yourself a palace in Rome.
- 无稽之谈 - 我有证据 - It's not true! - But I have proof!
- 很好 - 要试试吗？ - Really? - Well?
你这个卑鄙小人，德特里瑜斯 You're even viler than me, Detritus!
过奖 You flatter me!
我的演讲很好笑吗，德特里瑜斯？ My speech makes you laugh, Detritus?
不，当然不是的 其实… No, of course not Caesar.
其实，是忒洛瑜斯讲了一个比利时人笑话 It's Trolleybus. He told me a Belgian joke.
笑话？ Which one?
过来 Come here.
来了 I'm here.
看着我 Look at me.
看着我的眼睛 In the eyes.
你有事瞒着我 You're hiding, something from me.
我？瞒着凯撒大帝？ Me, hide something from you? Caesar...
凯撒大帝，我以忒洛瑜斯的脑袋发誓 I swear by Trolleybus...
您也清楚，忒洛瑜斯是我重要的好朋友 And you know how I value his friendship.
如果我撒谎，就拿他喂狮子！ Throw him to the lions if I'm lying!
士兵！ Soldiers!
为什么我们不能打败这些高卢人？ Why can't we beat those Gauls?
他们的村庄有什么特别之处？ What's special about this village?
据我所知，就是一座普通的小村子 From what I hear, it's an ordinary little village.
和其他高卢村庄没有什么不同 like hundreds of others across Gaul.
守卫，开门！我堂兄放牛回来了 Hey guard! Open the gate. It's my cousin and his oxen.
堂兄，你好 Hi cousin! how's are you?
快来快来!快来看看！ Come closer! Take a good look!
看呀看呀，便宜又新鲜 闻闻，多新鲜呀 Just look at my fish! Smell how fresh it is.
- 马上就来 - 新鲜的鱼 快来看 Just a minute!
新鲜鱼，来看看呀！又肥又便宜 I'm coming.
- 怎么？早看过了 - 老婆，气派吧？ Look! Isn't it magnificent?
我说，他最近可长胖了不少 Bear in mind he's put on weight lately.
加固了，万无一失 Don't worry, I've reinforced it.
- 站上去试试？- 没问题 Are you going to test it? Go on, then!
- 请吧 - 知道啦！ Yes!
起！ Up!
- 气派吧 - 阿卜哈哈古西克斯村长万岁！ - Well? - Long live Vercingétorix!
我愿成为一名歌唱家 I would have liked to be an artist...
闭嘴，吟游诗人！ Shut up, Bard!
你的臭鱼，拿好 Your fish stinks! Keep it.
什么？我的鱼臭？ My fish stinks? Come and smell it!
大伙来闻一闻，多香啊 - It stinks! - It stinks?
- 你的鱼臭了 - 臭了？ Come and smell it!
闻闻，新鲜着呢 Isn't it fresh? Doesn't it smell of the sea?
你闻不出吗？这新鲜的大海味儿？ - It's not fresh. - Yes, it is.
- 不新鲜 - 新鲜 - It's not. - It is.
- 不新鲜 - 新鲜 - It's not fresh. - It is.
- 不新鲜 - 新鲜 - It's not fresh! - Yes, it is!
- 不新鲜 - 新鲜 - It's not fresh! - Yes it is fresh!
- 不新鲜! - 新鲜！ - It's not fresh! - It is fresh!
不新鲜，臭了 It's not.
- 伊达迪皮里克斯 - 打架了，我也要玩 - Geriatrix! - A fight! I'm coming.
伊达迪皮里克斯，亲爱的，你上岁数了，你都80了 Geriatrix! You're no longer 80, my love.
快点走开 Leave me alone.
新鲜不新鲜，我都不要了 奥，鱼飞啦！ Fresh or not... it's all gone!
我身轻如燕吗，奥德纳菲吉克斯？ Think I'm a butterfly, Unhygienix?
抱歉，帕诺万能克斯，扔错了 Sorry, Getafix. Wrong target.
- 这鱼眼 - 新鲜吗？ - The eye! - It's not fresh?
要我说，不新鲜 I keep telling you!
危险正笼罩着村子！ A great danger threatens the village!
快看鱼眼睛 It's written in it's eye.
坏消息！邪恶之人要对我们下毒手啦 Look! It's a sign. Someone wishes us ill.
就在这附近，我能感觉到 An evil spirit! It's close, I can feel it's presence.
愿神灵庇佑我们 May the gods help us!
开门 Open the gates.
凯伊瑜斯.拨来瑜斯，汇报军情 Tell me everything, Caius Bonus.
他们有秘密武器--魔法药水，省长大人 They have a secret weapon, a magic potion.
魔法药水？你唬我啊？ Magic potion? Are you kidding me?
不敢，省长大人 I wouldn't dare, Governor.
高卢祭司熬制药水，高卢人喝了以后战无不胜 Their druid prepares it. It makes them invincible.
战无不胜？ Invincible?
是的，药水配方是祖上传下来的 He inherited the secret from his ancestors.
朱庇特大神在上！ By Jupiter!
得此秘方者 必得天下 If someone got hold of this secret, he would become master of the world.
所以，我没告诉其他人 That's why I didn't tell anyone.
要是其他村庄… Imagine if the other villages...
做得好 我要统治全世界！ You did right. Master of the the world!
药效持续多长时间？ How long does its effect last?
大概十分钟 About 10 minutes.
十分钟后必须再喝一口 Then they have to ask the druid for more.
我们切断魔法药水供给 We must cut them off from their supply.
带足兵马 Take all the men you need.
军令如山 但是有个麻烦 I would, but there's a hitch.
- 麻烦？- 是的 大麻烦 - A huge one! - A colossal Gaul.
一个大个子高卢人天生神力 不需要喝魔法药水 He needs no resupplying.
小时候他曾掉进药水锅里 He fell into the potion as a kid.
设陷阱，捉住他 Set him a trap.
我的工程师海伯瑜斯会帮你 My engineer Hypothenús will build it.
没那么容易，他有一个机灵鬼密友 It won't be easy. He has a very clever friend.
别担心，海伯瑜斯是天才 Don't worry. Hypothenús is a real genius.
听？快要下雨了，天快塌了 It's going to rain. The sky's coming down.
你再说话，上天就会崩落到你的石柱上了 Any lower and it'll touch the tip of your menhir.
真的？ You believe that?
真的，你若哭鼻子的话，就砸到我们脑袋上 Yes and then the sky may fall on our heads.
别说了，我就怕这个 Don't say that! It's my only fear.
- 砰的一响，压扁你 - 别说了 Still, it won't have far to fall.
- 我讲笑话呢 - 一点也不好笑 - Stop it! - I was just kidding.
你正常了才是笑话呢 - Not funny. - Relax, I was just kidding.
谁知道 我才不要冒险 You never know. I'd rather not take risks.
快 快 Go, we go.
- 阿斯泰利克斯与奥比里克斯 在此长眠 - 要刻“哈哈”吗？ R.I.P. Astérix and Obélix.
狮子喜欢文官 Do I add "ha, ha"? Lions love intellectuals.
文官比百夫长皮肉嫩 They're more tender than centurions.
- 要是罗马人发现你 - 罗马人 罗马人 If the Romans could see you!
15天了，一个罗马人的影子也没有 连个罗马伏兵都没有 I haven't seen any for 15 days. Not an ambush, nothing.
他们不敢来了 你下手太狠了，他们很没面子 You're too rough. You humiliate them.
- 没面子？- 是的，有点 - I do? - Think.
罗马人打败了迦太基（现今突尼斯），征服了全世界，大家都怕罗马人 They conquered the world, everyone fears them.
可是一个大胖子揍的他们屁滚尿流 And some fat guy beats them up!
- 胖子？- 对 What fat guy?
胖子？你说谁呢？ Who do you mean?
我是说，一个叫做奥贝里克斯的伟大运动员 I meant a great athlete called Obélix.
很伟大 I see.
他们来了 They're coming.
- 为什么要长眠？我不累 - 那是墓碑，奥贝里克斯 Why must we rest? I'm not tired.
- 我们死了？- 暂时没有 - It's a tombstone. - Are we dead?
我们最好离开 We'd better run.
上天崩落到我们头上了！ The sky's falling on our heads!
太好了！看压不扁你们 Finally! Squashed like cockroaches.
六个月，足足等了六个月！挨你们揍，被你们羞辱 I've waited six months! Six months of humilations and beatings!
用石头压扁他们，有创意吧？ Not a bad idea, hey?
好样的，涨你三倍工钱 I'll triple your pay!
有胖子在，你走运了 Lucky the fat guy was here.
不认输的高卢人，卖掉你们的内脏！ Eat your entrails, indomitable Gauls!
不可能！怎么可能！？ No! This can't be.
普路托（冥王）大神在上，糟了，糟了！ Impossible! By Pluto, this is a nightmare!
快！ Come on!
- 帮我！ - 你觉得我能行吗？ - Give me a hand. - Just a second.
还好出门前装了一瓶魔法药水 Lucky I filled my flask with magic potion.
给我喝口 - Give me some. - No.
不行！你小时候掉进药水锅里 You fell into it as a kid.
药力真猛 It's good.
快，士兵们，坐在岩石上！岩石上！ Do something. Soldiers, on the rock!
凯伊瑜斯.拨来瑜斯 奥，老朋友凯伊瑜斯.拨来瑜斯 Caius Bonus! It's my pal Caius Bonus.
怎么了，凯伊瑜斯.拨来瑜斯，和老朋友们乐一乐？ What, you don't want to play with your pals?
糊涂蛋！没有我们怎么精彩 Silly-billy! What would you do without us?
嗓子多美妙啊 歌儿也唱的好 - What a lovely voice. - True, he sings very well.
拧啊拧啊柠 Ozzie, Ozzie, Ozzie...
不能怪我，上头有令 It's not my fault. I had orders.
和我们捉迷藏，很有趣吧 Haven't we had fun together?
打打闹闹 嘻嘻哈哈 All those greast biffs!
有趣，有趣 但是他下手太狠，士兵们受不了 Yes, but he hits too hard. My men can't take it any more.
轻点打，好吗，奥贝里克斯？ He'll go easy.
不知道，尽量吧 I'll try my best.
凯伊瑜斯.拨来瑜斯，警告你和你的走狗 Listen, tell your men to prepare for a good stoush next week.
下周有好戏看咯 疼！疼！疼！ Yes, yes, yes!
凯伊瑜斯.拨来瑜斯的点子不怎么光明磊落，但是挺有创意的 So what did Caius Bonus, a cowardly but inventive man,
朝我们扔了一块大石头 come up with?
石头砸下来 He threw a mountain at us! They rolled a huge rock
我们还以为是上天崩落下来，砸到脑袋上 and this time we really thought the sky had fallen on our heads.
你说呢，奥贝里克斯？ Hey, Obélix.
还没有吃够吗？ Stop pigging yourself.
早着呢，才吃第三只野猪 It's only my third boar.
才第三只？还要再来三只吗？ It's only his third! Will you eat another three?
再来两只就够了 晚上少吃点 No, only two more. Tonight I'm eating light.
瞧瞧你，还不够胖吗？不胖,就是结实了点 - Aren't you fat enough? - Not fat, just well padded.
- 她是谁？- 什么“她是谁”？ - Who's she? - Don't you know?
不记得了吗？大美人法拉芭拉 It's Falbalá.
法拉芭拉？普兰达提克斯的女儿？ Little Falbalá? The daughter of...
- 就是她 - 女大十八变 But she was that tall.
她在卢泰西亚念了8年书 She studied eight years in Lutetia
- 漂亮了 - 长高了 - She's changed. - She's added a few centimetres.
多一分则胖,少一分则瘦 And a few kilos... It suits her.
奥贝里克斯 Obélix!
- 她记得你 - 你好啊，法拉芭拉 - She recognized you! - Hold him. Oh, Falbalá!
亲爱的奥贝里克斯，很高兴见到你 My dear Obélix, I'm so happy to see you.
你长变了，都快认不出了 You've changed so much. I didn't recognize you.
你长胖了，样子倒没变 You haven't changed at all, except for a few extra kilos.
他不胖，结实 He's just well padded.
结实？没错，结实 That's right, well padded.
- 法拉芭拉？- 结实？ - Falbalá! - Well padded!
好香呀，我要吃光光 Smells delicious. I'm going to eat your boar.
吃吧，我不聋，快吃吧，吃个够 I'm not deaf! I don't care. Go ahead, eat it.
野猪肉是你的最爱！你怎么了？生病了？ You've never refused boar. Are you sick?
好着呢 月光把她衬托的更动人，对吧？ No, I'm fine. Why? What a beautiful night!
闻到她身上的香水味儿了吗？ Can you smell how fragrant the air is?
满月 真美 The moon is full. I hadn't noticed.
你还没有明白吗？你中了狐狸精的迷魂大法 Did that little flirt do this to you?
- 狐狸精?谁？- 当然是法拉芭拉 - What little flirt? - Falbalá, of course.
快道歉 谁也不能说法拉芭拉的坏话 Don't you dare speak ill of Falbalá!
放开我， 图塔蒂斯神在上，你要掐死我啊 All right, let go of me. You're strangling me.
对不起 对不起 I'm sorry.
法拉芭拉不是狐狸精 法拉芭拉…就是法拉芭拉 Falbalá is not a flirt. Falbalá is... Falbalá.
送给法拉芭拉？ Is it for Falbalá?
你要在她脖子上弄根大链子吗？ To wear around her neck on a big chain?
- 这是定情信物 - 什么？ It's an engagement menhir.
- 你要向她求婚？- 当然 - You want her to marry you? - Yes.
你疯了吗？法拉芭拉不适合你 You're nuts. She's not for you.
为什么？ Why not?
你们不相称，从体型上来说 You're not a good match. Physically, I mean.
你不明白女人要什么 You don't understand women.
她们不在乎体型，她们要的是爱 They don't care about physique.
- 是吗 看，谁来了 - 法拉芭拉 They care about the soul. Look who's coming.
- 瘦竹竿是她的哥哥吗？- 哥哥？ - Is he her brother? - Her brother?
是她哥哥 瞧啊，他亲她了 Yes. Look, he's kissing her.
那可不是兄妹之吻 That's not how brothers and sisters kiss.
也许是她的堂兄吧 Her cousin, then.
奥，大笨蛋！那是她男朋友 Can't you see he's her boyfriend?
改天再求婚吧 Let's go. You'll have to ask her to marry you some other time.
- 男朋友？- 对，男朋友 - Her boyfriend? - Yes.
- 皮包骨头 - 恩，皮包骨头 - He's so skinny. - Yes... so skinny.
吃饭吧 Let's eat.
开门，税务官驾到 Open the gates for tax collector Malosinus!
前来收税 今晚住在兵营 He'll be staying the night at camp.
开门 Open up.
可以回家了 That's it for today.
明天一早上工 I want you all here tomorrow at dawn.
加班没有加班费 Hey you! We don't pay for overtime.
有头有尾，睡觉才踏实 I like to finish what I've started. Makes me sleep better.
关门 Close the gates.
给我 There's plenty more in the chest you saw earlier.
呆子，箱子里多得是 So?
箱子不属于我们 It's not our chest.
到了明天，就是我们的了 Tomorrow it will be.
我的图塔提斯神啊，老天爷今晚心情不好 By Toutatis, the gods are angry tonight.
我也是 So am I.
乖乖吃饭 有你好看 So don't make a mess or I'll deal with you.
不，不！ No. I said no.
- 胃口不好？- 我节食 - Are you losing your appetite? - I'm dieting.
- 减肥？你？- 是的 - Dieting? You? - Yes.
你说的对，我是胖子 Yes. You were right. I'm a touch overweight.
谁？是谁？ Who's there? Who are you?
贤者破锣里克斯，携助手阿拉比克斯 阿诺里西克斯 The soothsayer Prólix with my assistants Alámbix and Anorésix.
请进 Come in.
村长，贤者和他的助手请求借宿 A soothsayer and his assistants are seeking shelter.
贤者？来得好，请他进来 A soothsayer? Good timing. Show him in.
骗吃骗喝，江湖术士 Some parasitic charlatan.
发发慈悲 Don't be so suspicious.
我有问题请教他 I have a couple of questions for him.
欢迎光临 Welcome to our village.
感谢您的款待 I knew we would be welcomed.
卜一卦，多少钱？ What do you read the future in?
一碗热汤 一杯温酒 Hot soup and warm beer.
有意思 How original!
来对了地方 You've come to the right place.
怎么样？运势如何？有什么发现？ Well? Do you see anything?
- 我看见了财宝 - 财宝？财宝 I see a treasure.
村子里会出现一大箱财宝 A huge treasure in your village.
卡拉芭拉，盛满 Refill our friend's plate.
罗马人！财宝箱有罗马人守卫 I see lots of Romans around the treasure.
来找我报仇的，对吗？ The Romans are mine!
- 抢夺财宝 - 好主意 - You'll take the treasure. - Brilliant!
然后呢？快卜 Carry on.
在卢泰西亚狂欢作乐 We can have a ball in Lutetia.
我知道一家不错的酒店 I know a great restaurant!
没了 I don't see anything.
有人施法布阵 Someone's giving out bad vibes.
没了，什么也看不到 My decoder can't. The image has gone.
- 阿斯泰力克斯，出去 - 我？为什么？ - Astérix, get out. - Why?
这是命令 Out! That's an order.
- 来了来了 - 你看见什么了？看见什么了？ - It's coming back! - So?
有了这些珠宝，你就有了一支军队 With this treasure you'll raise an army
将罗马人赶出高卢 and kick the Romans out of Gaul!
听见了吗，卡拉芭拉 Did you hear, Impedimenta?
你嫁给了维钦托利 （高卢阿维尔尼人的部落首领，曾领导高卢对罗马统治进行最后的反抗） I'm the new Vercingétorix!
好的好的，大人物，拿些木材回来 Sure, since you're on your feet, go fetch some firewood.
我朋友，爱上一位年轻姑娘 My friend is in love with a girl...
你想知道有情人能否终成眷属 You want to know if she'll marry him?
你怎么知道？ How did you guess?
- 我能未卜先知 - 真灵 - I'm a soothsayer, aren't I? - True.
阿斯泰利克斯！ Astérix!
阿斯泰利克斯，贤者告诉我说 The seer said...
- 你和法拉芭拉结婚？- 对，你也会占卜？ - That you will marry Falbalá. - You're a seer too?
- 不会，他们是江湖术士，骗子 - 他才不是 No, but I know a fraud.
他预言法拉芭拉会爱上我 He's not a fraud. He saw that Falbalá loves me!
我来卜一卦怎么样？法拉芭拉会嫁给特吉克米克斯 Falbalá will marry Tragicómix.
法拉芭拉爱我 迟早的事儿 Falbalá loves me. She just doesn't know it yet.
- 为什么不表白？- 爱情是很微妙的 - Why not tell her? - Love is a delicate thing.
你明白吗？爱情就像一朵花儿 It's like a flower.
慢慢的，发芽，打苞，盛开 It needs time to grow, to blossom...
是啊 Sure.
你什么也不懂 什么也不懂 不懂！ You don't understand. You never understand a thing!
你这个疯子 疯子 He's getting on my nerves!
你快把我逼疯了，奥贝里克斯 You're getting on my nerves, Obélix!
罗马人 罗马军团 罗马人 Romans... Romans, Normans...
罗马人 罗马…人？罗马人来啦！ Romans! The Romans are coming!
罗马人！ Romans!
祭司，准备好魔法药水 Druid, prepare the magic potion.
罗马人来了 The Romans are coming!
- 德贾德莫洛斯，不到20个罗马人 - 自私鬼 - Leave them to me! - You're so selfish!
还剩3滴，正好派上用场 I've still got some.
大人，大人，高卢村庄去不得 I beg you, don't enter this village!
村民们都是疯子 It's pure madness.
你才是疯子，百夫长 Watch it, Centurion.
知道我是谁吗？我是国家要员 Do you know who I am? I'm provincial treasurer.
凯撒大帝的税务官 I collect Caesar's taxes.
高卢人有魔法药水，喝了天下无敌 These Gauls have a magic potion which makes them invincible.
他们会把你撕碎的 They'll massacre you.
语无伦次 快滚开 Stop raving. Out of my way!
- 欢迎你，罗马人 - 谢谢，高卢人 Welcome, Romans! Thank you, Gaul.
我是凯撒大帝的税务官，前来征税 I've come to collect Caesar's tax.
所有的税金将会用于 Rest assured, the money will be
修筑道路 well spent on building roads
军队开支，防止外敌入侵 and maintaining an army to defend you.
及弥补财政赤字 - Plus social benefits. - Of course.
很好 小事一桩 It's the least we can do.
感谢您的大驾光临，请接收我们微不足道的税金 He greatly honours us by accepting our modest contribution.
阿斯泰利克斯，奥贝里克斯，凯撒的税金 Astérix, Obélix, please bring Caesar's tax.
那是什么？ What's this?
每次交战，罗马士兵落下的 These are the things Roman soldiers leave behind
宝贝 every time we meet them!
脱下它们，跑的更快 They run faster without them.
上好的金属，在铁匠铺能卖个好价钱 They should fetch a fair price as scrap metal!
古董商会出大价钱 Or a curios.
头盔能做成煤油灯 Look at this helmet. It would make a nice oil lamp.
盔甲能当华夫饼干烤模使 And this armor would make a nice waffle iron!
干掉他们！ Raze this village!
钱，我的钱，我的钱 My treasure! My treasure!
我们订婚也没有这么肉麻过 He never called me that. Even when we were engaged.
图塔蒂斯神在上 贤者大人 By Toutatis, you're the most
你是最灵验的预言家 extraordinary of soothsayers.
告诉我，下一步怎么办？告诉我 What will happen now? Tell me!
我不会预言，但是我告诉你 I'm no oracle, but I can tell you.
如果我们不立即归还金子 If we don't return it to Caesar,
凯撒将率领罗马军团倾巢而出 he'll be here with his legions.
来就来 Let him come.
有了这些金子，就有了军队 With this money, I'll raise an army.
他若敢来，定打他个屁滚尿流 I'll face him and I'll defeat him!
金子给村子带来的只有厄运 And I say this gold will bring misfortune to the village!
投票表决吧 Then let's vote.
主张留下金子的，站右边 Those who want to keep it, move to my right.
主张归还金子的，站左边 Those who want to return it, move to the left.
我要金子也要朋友，所以，弃权 I want to keep the money and my friend, so I abstain.
宣布投票结果，金子是我们的！ The result of the vote says... We keep the treasure!
万岁！万岁！万岁！ Yes! Well! Well!
您召见我，凯撒大帝？ You called for me, Caesar?
他们偷走了税金 The tax money was stolen.
你好大的胆子！ What? You dared to... You slimy...
不是马洛斯瑜斯干的 No! It wasn't Malosinus.
他中了高卢人的奸计 He was ambushed by the Gauls.
你有脸活着回来？ And you're still alive!
誓死保卫凯撒大帝的金子是臣子的责任! You didn't defend Caesar's money to the death!
可怜虫！ Unfortunate!
这群高卢人的小镇仍在顽强抵抗罗马军团 They were from the village that has been resisting us for months.
好几个月了，你知情吗？ Did you know?
- 你知情吗？- 我在问你，德特里瑜斯 Did you? I'm talking to you!
我，德特里瑜斯，被凯撒大帝问话 It's to me, Detritus, that Caesar is speaking.
与其说是小镇，不如说是村庄，而且再说了 This village, or rather hamlet...
你为什么不上报说明？ Why didn't you tell me?
芝麻绿豆的事儿不值得凯撒大帝烦心 I didn't want to bother Caesar
芝麻绿豆？ with a trifling matter.
芝麻绿豆！ A trifling matter? A trifling matter!
他们违抗凯撒大帝 They revolt against Caesar,
对抗罗马军团 They resist Roman legions!
胆敢逃避交纳贡税 Not only do they not pay their dues,
偷盗凯撒大帝的贡税 but they steal my taxes,
这也是芝麻绿豆的小事儿？ and this a trifling matter?
您说的对，凯撒大帝，事态非常严重 You're right. It's a serious matter!
我立即下令将马洛斯瑜斯喂狮子，您意下如何？ Let's throw Malosinus to the lions.
陪我亲征，我马上动身前往佩蒂伯恩 Summon my escort. I'm going to Petitbónum.
怎么处置马洛斯瑜斯，陛下？ What do we do with Malosinus?
下个月前给我一个满意的结果 If this matter isn't settled before the new moon,
要不然喂狮子的是你 you'll be thrown to the lions.
凯撒大帝驾到 凯撒大帝驾到 Caesar is coming! Caesar is coming!
让开！赶快收拾好，赶快！ Out of the way! Tidy up! Everyone in uniform, quick!
- 他们多少人？- 大概50人 - What are their numbers? - About 50.
- 我们呢？- 接近500人，高贵的凯撒 - And ours? - Only 500, noble Caesar.
- 500？- 没错 - Ony 500? - Yes.
百夫长，难道你在取笑我？ Tell me, Centurion, are you pulling my leg?
你在逗我玩吗？ And mine too?
不敢，请允许我解释清楚 Me? Let me explain, if I may...
废话少说，攻打村子，马上！ No explanations! Attack the village! Now!
奥贝里克斯，我任命你为我的私人近卫指挥官 Obélix, you will be the commander of my personal guard.
遵命，阿卜哈哈古西克斯村长 At your command, Vitalstatistix.
而你，爱说唱斯利克斯 I name Cacofonix
- 在 - 任命为文化部部长 Minister for Culture.
安静，安静！ Quiet! Quiet!
那我呢，给我什么官？ What about me?
你就当退伍军人事务部部长吧 You get Veterans' Affairs.
退伍军人事务部部长？凭什么？ Why Veterans' Affairs?
我要当军务部部长！ I want the War Ministry!
为高卢人准备的，好记住我凯撒大帝 This is for the Gauls. So they can recognize me.
乌龟阵型！ Tortoise formation!
物资部归奥登法贝提克斯 The ministry for Supplies goes to Unhygienix.
物资部？他的鱼都臭了 What supplies? His fish stinks!
- 村长 - 什么？阿斯泰利克斯呢？ What about Astérix?
怎么能忘了阿斯泰利克斯 I forgot him.
由他统帅消极人民部 He gets National Negativity,
诋毁国家部 和 应景悲观部 Systematic Denigration and Ambient Pessimism.
很衬他 That should do him. Very good.
阿斯泰利克斯，你在干嘛？ Astérix, what are you doing?
把箱子物归原主 Rendering this unto Caesar.
他一定喝了魔法药水 He must have drunk some potion.
奥贝里克斯，快把箱子拿回来，快把箱子拿回来 Obélix, bring back the treasure.
- 遵命 - 快把箱子拿回来，奥贝里克斯 - Bring back the treasure! Obelix.
他们在干什么？ What's this?
你傻了吗？ Are you nuts, Astérix?
他们嘲笑我 Mock me?
阿斯泰利克斯，你傻了吗， 村长！ Astérix, you're... Chief!
快去帮忙 Help him!
进攻！ Attack!
乌龟阵型，向前，进军！ Tortoise, forward march!
大伙们，快看，罗马人打来了 Help, Gauls! The Romans are attacking.
村民们，每人一口魔药！ Everybody drink some potion!
图塔蒂斯神在上！ By Toutatis!
进攻！进攻！ Attack! Attack!
乌龟阵型，进攻！ Tortoise! Charge!
飞啊 飞啊 Out!
滚下去 Get down!
都给我回去战斗！关门！ Go and fight! Close the gates.
- 快看啊 - 不 不 凯伊瑜斯.拨来瑜斯在那边 - There. - No, there. Caius Bonus...
进攻！要不拿你们喂狮子 Attack! Or I'll throw you to the lions.
- 敲敲门，有人在家吗？- 乖乖回答哦 - Anybody home? - Answer when asked!
在 在 Yes. yes
野蛮的高卢人，野蛮至极 - These Gauls are savages. - Savages!
但是他们的节奏感还不错 哈？ But they have a sense of rhythm.
给我留一个罗马人！ Leave one for me!
伊达迪皮里克斯，这对心脏可不好 It's bad for your heart, darling.
亲爱的，求你了，听我一次吧 Please listen to me.
别拦着我 Lay off!
爷爷，玩的开心 Have fun, gramps!
- 你会受伤的 - 我来干掉他 - You'll get hurt. - He's mine!
- 老当益壮 - 是啊 He's still agile.
我可怜的宝贝 They've damaged him!
你受伤了 My poor baby!
- 魔药失效了？- 我忘了喝 - He's too old for the potion. - I forgot to take any.
老糊涂了 He's definitely too old.
- 嘿，罗马人！ - 等等，快看，是拨来瑜斯 - Hey Romans! - Look! Bonus!
投降吧，高卢人，饶你们不死 Surrender, Gaul, and I'll spare your life.
好啊 Sure.
- 我来我来，扔过来 - 来了，接好 Look, Astérix! Up there.
瞧啊，阿斯泰利克斯，新来的罗马帅哥 A whole bunch of fresh ones.
- 好帅气的罗马人 - 别 别 Let's get them.
我们去打个招呼 Come on, Romans!
- 看着好生面熟 - 我也是 - I've seen that face before. - Me too.
到底谁啊？ Don't know.
嘿，头戴桂冠的！ Hey, you up there with the leaves on his head!
- 我？- 就是你，转过身去 - Me? - Yes, turn around.
高卢蛮子胆大妄为，语出不逊 Impudent barbarians.
- 野蛮人 - 尤里乌斯？ - Savages. - Julius?
我的图塔提斯神，你说对了，他是尤利乌斯.凯撒 You're right, it's Caesar.
你好啊，尤尤小老弟 Good old Julius!
你的士兵呢？我们来玩一玩吧 Where's your army? Let's have some fun.
别拿他开涮了，他会派出所有的罗马军队攻打我们 Enough! He'll end up sending his army.
我没有啊 Good.
他走了 喂，小尤尤，别走啊，我们一起玩吧 Oh, he's leaving. Wait Julius! Let's have some fun.
- 小尤尤… - 你惹恼了他，奥贝里克斯 You have offended him.
松绑！我谱了首新曲子！ Untie me. I've composed a new song.
破锣里克斯，我解放全高卢人那天 Prólix, when I've freed Gaul,
将任命你为高卢大将军 I'll make you prefect of all the provinces.
- 我知道 - 是吗，瞧我多傻 - I know. - Of course! Silly me.
让我们向最伟大的贤者敬一杯 Let's drink to the greatest of soothsayers.
敬我们的朋友，破锣里克斯 To our friend Prólix...
高兴点 Stop sulking.
我才不要和小人喝酒 I refuse to toast that viper.
现在，贤者大人，快说说将来 Now, Soothsayer, let's discuss my future.
我看见你包围罗马城，节节胜利，占领罗马城 I see you surrounded by Romans. I see you triumphant. I see you in Rome!
罗马城？我在罗马城干什么？ Rome? What am I doing in Rome? Speak, quick.
你认为干什么你？ What do you think?
有干扰，负面波长 The pictures fading. Negative vibes.
亲爱的专家，干扰走啦 All right, I get it. The bad vibes will take a stroll.
站住，你们两个过来 和好，这是命令 No! You two, come here. I order you to make up.
- 我无所谓 - 听见我的话了吗？ - I don't mind. - Did you hear what I said?
我耳朵不聋 I'm not deaf.
- 和好，亲吻对方 - 奥，别 - Not good enough. Kiss. - No way!
赶紧 Do it!
亲吻四次 We do it four times.
- 痒 痒！ - 很好，很好 - It tickles! - That's much better. Much better.
按照我们的传统，两人和解的时候 In our custom, we must also
必须吃下友谊煎蛋饼 share the omelette of friendship.
多可爱的传统 卡拉芭拉，拿鸡蛋来 Splendid custom. Impedimenta! Eggs.
加点蘑菇怎么样？阿斯泰利克斯 Do you like mushrooms?
无毒就好 If they're not poisonous.
别紧张，你吃多少，我也吃多少 Fear not, I'll have some too.
友谊玉米煎蛋饼吃完了 When we've eaten the omelette,
我会告诉你 你的命运 I'll tell you your future.
请吧 Go ahead.
真好吃 They're good.
爱死它了 I love them.
奥贝里克斯，再来段凯撒骑马表演 Obélix! Do Caesar on his horse again.
我已经模仿了不只20次了 I've done it 20 times!
求求你了 Please!
凯撒骑马 凯撒骑马 Caesar, Caesar, Caesar, Caesar!
- 实在咽不下去 - 不，必须吃干净 - I'm full. - No, we must finish it.
这可是传统 吃啊，吃啊 It's the custom.
- 吃完了 - 现在起，我们是朋友了 There. Now, we're real friends.
- 还好吧？- 有点热 - Are you alright? - I'm hot.
那可是友谊之热 The warmth of friendship.
看着我，阿斯泰利克斯，听我说 Look me in the eyes, Astérix, and listen to me.
- 在听吗，阿斯泰利克斯？- 正听着呢 I'm listening.
尤利乌斯.凯撒 是我的头号敌人 跟着我念 Julius Caesar is my worst enemy. Repeat.
尤利乌斯.凯撒 是我的头号敌人 Julius Caesar is my worst enemy.
我要亲手结果他的性命 I will destroy him.
奥贝里克斯，为我再来一段 Obélix! Do it for me, please.
你听啊 Come on.
小尤尤骑着白色骏马，趾高气昂 Julius looked splendid on his white horse,
前呼后拥 他看着我，我看着他 就是说，我们对视了 surrounded by his escort. We looked at each other.
然后我说，图塔蒂斯神在上，他看着好生面熟 I said "By Toutatis, I've seen that face before."
我拿出一枚金币 定眼 一看 I take a coin and look at it.
他是颠倒的，我是说，他的头像在金币的背面 He was upside down. On the coin, I mean.
看见了吗？凯撒正在挑衅你 See? Caesar came here to mock you.
当着全村人的面嘲笑你 是可忍,孰不可忍 Among your own people. It's intolerable!
绝对不能忍！ It's intolerable!
必须杀了他 You must destroy him.
必须杀了他 I must destroy him.
我说，可没有人提醒过凯撒我过去对罗马人一直很留情 I bet he wasn't told I was actually going easy on them.
- 滚下马来，凯撒 - 瞧啊，高卢人 - Get off your horse, Caesar. - Look a Gaul.
你必须为侵略高卢人付出代价，卑鄙小人 You'll pay for all the harm you've done to Gaul!
放肆，高卢蛮子居然对着我说话 Impudent barbarian!
你就等着吧，我亲自请你下马 Wait, I'll bring you down.
- 他怎么了？- 天晓得 - What's with him? - Don't know.
他怎么了？- 他很反常啊 He's acting weird.
吃我一拳，凯撒 Cop this, Caesar!
弹回去了？ Stop this.
我不是凯撒！你不认得我了吗？我是你的朋友，奥贝里克斯 I'm not Caesar. Can't you see? I'm Obélix, your friend.
- 受死吧，凯撒 - 住手 阿斯泰利克斯 Die, Caesar!
别伤害他 Go easy on him.
魔法药水让他着了魔，他疯了 We need some magic potion. He's gone mad.
不可能，药水不是用来打高卢内战的 We can't use the magic potion against each other!
绝对不可能 Impossible.
祭司能制解药，我去找他 Only the druid can help. I'll fetch him.
别想逃，凯撒，你这个懦夫 You're fleeing, Caesar. You're a coward!
- 快来和我决斗 - 别闹了 - Come fight me. - Thats enough.
祭司，解药 阿斯泰利克斯疯了 Do something Druid. Astérix has gone mad.
真的疯了 Indeed.
凯撒，你的死期到了 Meet your end, Caesar!
当心 Careful!
维钦托利！ Vercingétorix！ Vercingétorix!
- 清醒清醒 - 你的大仇已报！ - Wake up. - You're avenged!
- 是我，奥贝里克斯 清醒 - 凯撒大帝投降啦！ - It's me, Obélix. - Caesar is begging for mercy!
伊梭托马提克斯，请爱说唱斯利克斯过来 Fulliautomátix, get Cacofonix.
另辟蹊径，以毒攻毒 This calls for special treatment.
你有任务了 You're needed.
- 什么？- 没错 Yes.
来，唱吧，让他清醒一下 Come on, play something.
- 你要做什么，太监 - 为你唱赞歌 - What do you want? - To sing you a song.
可怜的阿斯泰利克斯 Poor Astérix!
手段很残忍，但是顶用 It's brutal, but it might work.
闭嘴，爱说唱利克斯 阿卜哈哈古西克斯村长，快让他闭嘴 Stop it Cacofonix. Shut him up, Vitalstatistix.
奥贝里克斯，出了什么事？为什么把我绑起来？ What's this Obélix? Why am I tied up?
他好了，你喊我名字了 He's cured! He recognized me.
你吓到我们了，你叫我凯撒 You scared us. You took me for Caesar.
- 你？凯撒？- 是啊，你都忘了？ - Caesar? - Don't you remember?
不记得了，等等 No... Wait,
我想起来了，我吃了破锣利克斯的蘑菇煎蛋饼 I remember Prólix and his mushroom omelette.
蘑菇让人产生幻觉 破锣利克斯给你下药了 He gave him hallucinogenic mushrooms.
- 什么时候？什么时候？- 破锣利克斯人呢？ Where is he?
江湖术士，骗子！ 他偷走了金子！ That viper must have stolen the treasure!
金子！ The treasure!
他偷走了金子！ I warned you!
解脱了，这下清净了 Good riddance. Now we'll have some peace.
拜拜，金子！ 拜拜，凯撒！ Bye-bye, treasure! Bye-bye, Caesar!
我会找到制服高卢村庄的办法，别担心 I'll find a way to subdue this Gaulish village.
- 快说，洗耳恭听 - 正在盘算 - I'm listening. - I'm thinking.
- 慢吞吞 - 等等 等等 You're taking too long.
有了，有了 It's almost there.
我帮你想 I will help you.
妈妈咪呀，一头狮子 Mama mia! A lion!
抓紧时间，不然你就是它的盘中餐 Hurry or you'll be his next meal.
想到了，凯撒，有主意了 绑架高卢祭司 Got it! We must neutralize the Druid.
这样一来，他无法为高卢人熬制无敌魔法药水 Then he won't be able to prepare the magic potion.
计划怎么干？ And how do we do that?
两天后，一年一度的祭司大会就要召开 In 2 days, all the region's druids
在卡努尔特森林 绝妙机会 will gather in their sacred forest. It's the perfect time to act.
卡努尔特大会期间 But I promised the druids no Roman would
罗马人和祭司有停战协议 enter their sacred forest.
凯撒大帝许诺，凯撒大帝也能反悔 What Caesar promises he can unpromise.
我备好一整壶药水以防我离开期间有什么不测 I've prepared a whole pot. If anything happens
足够了 that should be enough.
真希望你别走，帕诺万能克斯 I don't like you leaving the village.
有阿斯泰利克斯与奥贝里克斯的护送，很安全 With Astérix and Obélix as escort, there's no risk.
走咯，奥贝里克斯 Let's go, Obélix.
- 法拉芭拉，我走了 - 奥贝里克斯 - Falbal? I'm going! - Obelix!
跟上，一意吠克斯 Come on, Dogmatix.
快来，小狗狗 Lets go, my little bug.
卡努尔特森林到了 The sacred forest starts here.
祭司才能进森林 你们在这里等我 Only druids can enter it. Wait for me here.
一意吠克斯，有情况就回来，去吧 Follow him. Any problems, race back to us. Go.
祭司兄弟们，金镰刀在此 我宣布， 第两千届祭司大会拉开帷幕 I declare the 2000th Golden Sickle Ceremony open.
和往年一样，金镰刀将授予年度最佳祭司 As always, the Golden Sickle will go to the best among us.
第一位，祭司刀疤克斯 I summon Druid Plaintcontrix!
喝下我魔法药水的人，将获得一股非凡的力量 My potion gives superhuman strength to those who drink it.
十分钟以内，近乎无人能敌 For about 10 minutes they're nearly invincible.
你们会大开眼界的 我随机抽选一人 You'll see. I'll choose someone...
点兵点将，你 对，就你 At random... You! Yes, you. Come on.
你，上前来 Come here.
靠近点 Come. We go.
慢慢地喝下去 Drink. Slowly.
如果真的如传闻一样厉害 If what you say is true, with your magic potion
魔法药水能助我们赶走罗马人 we could kick the Romans out of Gaul!
不行，因为我的导师，马修萨里克斯 No! My master Mathusálix
信任我，传授我魔药配方 gave me the secret of the potion on the condition
告诫我魔药只能用于防守，不能用于进攻 we only use it for defense, and never to attack.
你们会明白的 看见那块岩石了吗？ You'll see why. See that rock?
去，把岩石举起来，举过头顶 You are going to lift it and hold it over your head.
在场诸位祭司一致同意 I trust we agree
本年度，金镰刀将授予祭司帕诺万能克斯 this Getafix should be awarded this year's Golden Sickle Award.
假如，喝下魔法药水的是一名无耻、野心勃勃之徒 Now imagine for a second that this man was a vile,
或者更甚，罗马人！ ambitious and unscrupulous type, or still worse, a Roman!
你说对了，我就是罗马人 But I am a Roman!
护卫！ Guard!
要吃吗？ Want some?
敞开肚皮吃的奥贝里克斯才是真正的奥贝里克斯 You were more fun when you weren't dieting.
就算你减肥成功，法拉芭拉也不会嫁给你 Falbalá won't marry you anyway.
法拉芭拉的心上人不是你，法拉芭拉爱着特吉克米克斯 She loves Tragicómix, not you.
- 你这么说是因为你嫉妒 - 疯子！ - You're jealous. - You're nuts.
总有一天，你也会有意中人 You'll meet someone one day
才能明白爱与被爱的滋味 understand what it means to love and be loved.
快吃一口吧 Eat.
不能因为小妞而饿死 You can't starve to death because of a girl.
就一小口 Just a bite, then.
出乱子了，一意吠克斯？祭司帕诺万能克斯怎么了？ What is it, Dogmatix? Is Getafix in trouble?
虽然是禁林，也必须得闯一闯 给我 Forbidden or not, we must go. No time for eating.
不是吃的时候，我们快走 Hurry!
你在哪？ Where is he?
帕诺万能克斯 Panoramix
谁才是 Getafix! Which one is him?
亵渎神明！ Sacrilege!
这是禁林，不是你们该来的地方 This forest is sacred, you've no right to be here.
大惊小怪 帕诺万能克斯在哪？ Where's Getafix?
你们违抗禁令 不知廉耻 You've broken the taboo. Shame on you!
说出帕诺万能克斯的行踪，要不活该你吊在树上 Tell us where Getafix is or we'll let you hang here.
像橡树果实一样掉下来 Until you fall down as an acorn.
罗马人背叛了誓言，罗马人抓走了他 The Romans took him. We were betrayed.
阿斯特里克斯，快瞧啊，一意吠克斯找到了线索 Look Dogmatix brought something.
给我，乖狗狗 Give it to me.
帕诺万能克斯的长袍！快追啊，狗狗，快追 A piece of Getafix's robe. Seek boy!
一意吠克斯能追踪气味 Dogmatix will pick up his scent.
图塔蒂斯神在上，快放我们下来 By Toutatis! Get me down,
否则，我诅咒你后辈子孙十八代 or I'll curse you for ten generations!
- 他不是我们村的祭司 - 别说傻话 - They're not our druids. - Don't be silly.
- 好吧好吧，放他们下来 - 动手吧 All right, I'll do it.
不用谢 No thank you?
罗马人，罗马人 罗马人来了！ The Roma...
罗马人，成千上万的罗马人！罗马人来了！ The Romans! Romans everywhere.
还备的有一整瓶魔法药水 We still have a pot of magic potion.
- 喝完了怎么办？- 走一步是一步 - Then what? - We'll see...
终于找到了凯撒大军 你的心愿达成 You wanted Caesar's army, well, there it is.
- 你这是要去哪儿？- 救帕诺万能克斯 - Where are you going? - To free Getafix.
我先想想 Wait, let me think.
嘿，你 Hey, you!
过来 Come here!
给我回来 Come back.
把面包还给我，还给我 Drop the bread.
聪明的祭司先生 As a man of great intellience
想必您已知道受邀请来此处的目的 you must know why you're here.
你们想要魔法药水的配方 You want the magic potion formula.
药水配方? Why?
你的脸上写满了野心和谎言 I read ambition and deceit on your face.
你打算废黜凯撒, 统治罗马 You want to overthrow Caesar and rule over Rome.
您真是无所不晓 I'm like an open book to you.
那么您也明白, 配方非交出来不可 Now you must understand why you must give me the formula.
杀了我吧 I'd rather die.
死? 带上你的秘密进坟墓? 做梦 You? Die here? And take your secret to the grave. Never!
祭司, 你死不了 No, Druid, you won't die.
但是, 你若是不交出魔法药水配方 But, if you don't give me
我会让你会生不如死 your magic potion formula, you'll regret ever being born.
眼前的机器 This machine was devised
它能折磨你, 让你痛不欲生 to cause unbearable pain.
鄙人设计 It was my idea.
体验一下坐上去的乐趣吧, 待会儿见 I'll let you get acquainted. I'll be back shortly.
好好考虑考虑再做决定 Think well before giving me your answer.
等等, 戴上 You Wait, wait, wait. Take.
准备好了, 走吧 Here, put it on.
最后复习一遍， 你的名字？ All right, one more time. Who are you?
奥贝里瑜斯，军团士兵，二营三连 Obelus, legionary second cohort, third maníple.
- 我呢？- 阿斯特里克斯，我最好的朋友 - And me? - Astérix, my best friend.
- 你故意的？- 对不起 Are you doing it on purpose?
阿斯特里克斯，默默无闻的高卢间谍 You're Astérix, a Gaulish spy.
- 还有呢？- 慢着 - That's it? - No.
你试图溜进营地救出高卢祭司 You were trying to enter
被我活捉 the camp to free your druid.
把我交给谁？ and to who do you want to surrender?
不知道，我一般上交石柱，不上交朋友 - And who will you deliver me to? - I don't know! I deliver menhirs, not friends.
- 笨蛋，凯撒 - 知道了，交给笨蛋凯撒 - To Caesar, idiot. - All right, to Caesar Idiot.
- 是尤利乌斯.凯撒的亲戚吗？- 什么？ Are they related?
笨蛋凯撒，是尤利乌斯.凯撒的亲戚吗？ Is Caesar Idiot related to Caesar?
什么笨蛋凯撒，是尤利乌斯.凯撒 You deliver me to Julius Caesar.
- 你是笨蛋 - 我不是奥贝里瑜斯吗？ - The idiot is you. - I thought I was Obelus.
你把我逼疯了！重来一遍 He's driving me nuts. To reiterate.
- 你是奥贝里瑜斯，懂了？- 懂了 You're Obelus, all right?
把我交给尤利乌斯.凯撒，懂了？ You deliver me to Julius Caesar.
懂了 Agree.
奥贝里瑜斯说 “图塔蒂斯神在上，你是奥贝里克斯” When I say "Obelus, by Toutatis, you're Obélix"
你就变回奥贝里克斯，不当奥贝里瑜斯 you're Obélix again.
奥贝里瑜斯说 ”图塔蒂斯神在上，你是奥贝里克斯“ When you say "Obelus, by Toutatis, you're Obélix"
我变回奥贝里克斯，不是奥贝里瑜斯 很好，懂了 I become Obélix again and not before. See?
没问题 Got it.
绑架凯撒做人质，救回帕诺万能克斯 很简单 Then we capture Caesar and swap him for Getafix.
你去哪？ Wait.
必须先呼你一巴掌，才像真的俘虏 I have to bash you a bit so you look like a prisoner.
- 我是不是法拉芭拉的心上人？- 干嘛？有法拉芭拉什么事？ - So Falbalá doesn't love me? - What's she got to do with it?
全部事 Nothing.
抓到你了， 高卢间谍 A gaulish spy! He's mine.
- 你说她不爱我？- 十分爱，百分爱，千分爱，万分爱 - So does she love me? - She does.
法拉芭拉倾心于你，眼里只有你 你是她的真命天子 She adores you. You're the man of her dreams.
真命天子？这话我爱听 The man of her dreams? That's better.
- 什么事，士兵？- 我要面见凯撒，把他献给凯撒 - What do you want? - To deliver this to Caesar.
献给凯撒？有意思 滚一边去 To Caesar? Are you kidding? Go sober up.
卫兵！卫兵！卫兵！ Guards, to the rescue!
带我去见凯撒，有重要军情 Take me to Caesar. Special delivery.
他是谁？ What's this?
高卢间谍，偷偷溜进营地 A Gaulish spy trying to sneak in.
他说他是高卢祭司的助手 Claims he's the assistant to a druid called Getafix.
你是祭司帕诺万能克斯的助手？ You're the assistant to Getafix the druid?
正是 Yes.
他说有重要的秘密禀告凯撒 He claims he has important secrets to tell Caesar.
是的，没错 Yes, yes.
祭司老头，你终究会开口的 Old druid, you'll talk eventually.
有什么手段尽管使，你那些卑鄙的… You can start when you want.
滚一边去 Move from here.
哦？ Is that so?
过来 Over there.
你是祭司帕诺万能克斯的助手？ So you're Getafix's assistant?
是的 Yes.
- 勇敢的士兵，报上名来 - 奥贝里瑜斯，军团战士奥贝里瑜斯 - Bravo! What's your name? - Legionary Obelus.
干得好，奥贝里瑜斯，涨你三倍薪水 Well, Obelus, I'm tripling your pay.
我饿了 I'm a bit hungry.
带奥贝里瑜斯去厨房， 想吃什么尽管吃 Take him to the kitchen and give him anything he wants.
奥贝里瑜斯， 图塔蒂斯神在上！ Obelus! By Toutatis...
奥贝里瑜斯，奥贝里瑜斯， 图塔蒂斯神在上！ Obelus! By Toutatis!
祭司，你认得他吗? Druid! Do you know this man?
从没见过 Not at all.
别否认了，帕诺万能克斯，我是你的助手 No point lying, Getafix. He knows I'm your assistant
负责帮你熬制魔法药水 and that I help you prepare the potion.
机器，绑他上机器 To the machine!
现在呢？ Well?
奥贝里瑜斯，图塔蒂斯神在上，变回奥贝里克斯 Obelus, by Toutatis, be Obélix again!
奥贝里瑜斯，图塔蒂斯神在上 你弄疼我了！ Obelus, by Toutatis...
猪排骨小了点 A bit small, your boar cutlets.
那是羊排 野猪是给野蛮人吃的 来点鸡肉吗？ It's mutton. Boar is for savages. Want some chicken?
- 好的 - 要多少？- 20只吧，我在节食 - Yes. - How many? - 20. I'm on a diet.
- 谁在叫唤？- 军营嘛，常有的事 - Did somebody scream? - It's normal here.
过来，一意吠克斯， 给你吃排骨，快来 Dogmatix come here! What about your cutlet?
脚！ 脚！ Not the feet!
腿拉长了！ It pulls! It pulls!
拉到极限了 若你还顽固不化，他会死在你手上 This is the limit. If we continue, he may die.
人终有一死，但高卢人绝不投降 Gauls would rather die than surrender.
- 你认为呢？- 所言极是，理是这个理 - Do you agree? - In principle, yes.
但是实战中，人要学会变通 But in practice, we can be a bit more flexible.
你自找的！ You asked for it.
狗狗乖，乖狗狗 Yes, Dogmatix...
把大胖子找来 Go fetch the fat guy.
用那只狗代替高卢人 Swap the Gaul for the dog.
- 你不能这么做 - 你不能这么做 - You can't do that! - You can't do that!
睁大眼睛瞧好了 Just watch me.
住手！你赢了，我答应你熬制魔法药水 Stop! You win. I'll make you the magic potion.
罗马人会把村子夷为平地的 帕诺万能克斯 They'll raze the village!
别担心，这个卑鄙小人打算利用魔法药水 Don't worry, this bastard needs the potion
废除凯撒，谋权篡位 to eliminate and supplant Caesar.
您无所不晓，祭祀 You've got it right, Druid.
谁稀罕你们的村子，我要的是整个罗马 I don't care about your village. It's Rome I want!
我，德特里瑜斯 ，将要取代凯撒统治罗马 I, Detritus, want to rule over Rome!
一意吠克斯 Dogma...
看见一只长黑点的白色小狗吗？ Have you seen a little white dog with black spots?
- 没有 - 没有 - No. - No!
一意吠克斯 Dogmatix!
- 他意图统治 - 想都别想 No way!
奥里布里瑜斯 Olibrius!
立即逮捕叛徒德特里瑜斯 Arrest that traitor Detritus!
- 5分钟内把人带到 - 不，我不想再看到他 - Give me 5 minutes. - I don't want to see him.
先关入大牢，然后扔去喂狮子 Feed him to the lions.
我决不容忍家族叛徒 I can't stand traitors in the family.
布鲁托你说呢？布鲁托？ Brutus can confirm this. Eh? True, Brutus?
当然，您说的对，父亲 Yes, it's true. You're right, Dad.
滚开 Leave step.
德特里瑜斯，凯撒有令，你被捕了 Detritus, on Caesar's orders, you're under arrest.
什么？来人啊，卫兵！ Help me, guards!
- 带走 - 你们这是干什么 - Take it. - but, but, what?
来人，卫兵！ but... My guard! But...
一意吠克斯 Dogmatix!
太好了，我的俘虏呢？ Ah, here you are. Where's my prisoner?
现在不是谈话的时候，众人皆知，快走开 This isn't the time. Move.
我没有和你讲话，明白？我的俘虏在哪儿？ I wasn't talking to you. Where's my prisoner?
你瞧，我都成了俘虏了 But I'm a prisoner too.
逮捕他，他是共犯 Arrest him. He must be an accomplice.
你说什么！ Ah, yes?
士兵，我需要你这样的人才 Soldier! You're just the man I need.
我晋升你为我的贴身卫兵 I want you in my personal guard.
我的俘虏呢？ First tell me where my prisoner is.
别管他，他安然无恙 凑过来 Don't worry, he's fine where he is.
你若协助我俘虏凯撒， 我命你为百夫总长 If you help me capture Caesar, I'll make you my chief centurion.
- 抓凯撒？- 是的 Capture Caesar?
主意不错 I have an idea.
卫兵！ Guards!
凯撒 Caesar!
以罗马城的名义，你被捕了 In the name of the people of Rome, you're under arrest.
关入大牢，派人日夜看守 To the dungeon! Guard him day and night.
提奎忒拨瑜斯 来吧，我要发表就职演说 Ticketdebús, rally the troops. I'm going to make a speech.
士兵们，我们的领袖，尊敬的尤利乌斯.凯撒大帝 Soldiers! Our beloved leader, Julius Caesar,
不巧身患恶疾 has fallen seriously ill.
祝愿他早日康复，此外凯撒大帝令我接管 He has asked me, while he recovers,
- 直到他痊愈 重登王座 - 耶！ to take command of the army.
我决定，给你们涨薪一倍！ Given the circumstances, I've doubled your pay.
万岁！ Well!
我宣布百夫长一职 I also want to announce the promotion
由原军团士兵奥贝里瑜斯出任 of legionary Obelus to the rank of centurion
同时负责我的个人安全 in charge of my personal security.
祈祷诸神施恩 Finally, in order to please the gods
保佑凯撒早日痊愈 so they speed up Caesar's recovery,
特将于今日下午举办祭祀活动 games will be organized tonight and you're all invited!
邀请所有战士出席 And all are invited.
能见见我的俘虏吗？ Can I see my prisoner?
活动上能见到他，我保证 Tonight at the games, Okay?
太好了 Great!
- 禁止任何人入内 - 禁止入内 From here, no one's allowed in.
- 守住入口 - 入口，守住 You stay here.
一夫当关，万夫莫开 No trespassing.
要的东西都齐了吗 Got everything you need?
还差 No.
- 还差什么？- 助手 - What else do you want? - My assistant.
我就知道 他来了 I knew it. Here he is.
出于谨慎，我不得不采取一些措施，祭司大人 I had to take a few precautions, you understand.
你的助手不能先于我喝下魔法药水 I don't want your assistant to drink the potion before me.
熬好了？ - Well? - Almost ready.
最后一步，念咒 I just have to say the magic formula.
快念啊，还磨蹭什么？ Then say it.
要两人一起念 才有效 My assistant must repeat it after me.
让他跟着念 Remove his gag.
靠近点 He's a bit too far away.
他说什么 What's he saying?
图塔蒂斯神在上，阿斯泰利克斯 喝下去 By Toutatis, get ready to drink the potion.
图塔蒂斯神啊，我没喝到，你就喝 If we fail, we're stuffed.
喝，赶快！ Yes, you should take it now!
太烫啦！ It's hot!
干得漂亮 帕诺万能克斯 Brave, Panoramix
真狡猾啊你，可惜你输了 You gambled and you lost.
我还有复仇机会的 My revenge will be terrible.
我们试试药水的真假吧 All right, let's try this potion.
若是普通的蔬菜汤 If by chance it's a vulgar vegetable soup,
警告你，倒霉的是你 it's you who'll cop it. I'm warning you.
激动人心的一刻 It's a very moving moment.
看我的厉害 It works!
关入大牢，不会关很久的，相信我 To the dungeon! You won't stay long, don't worry.
奥贝里克斯呢？ What's Obélix doing?
我登上王位后，命你做大将军 When I'm emperor, I'll name you general of the guard.
凯撒怎么办？ What about Caesar?
凯撒？凯撒是谁？ Caesar? Who's he?
法拉芭拉？ Falbalá!
- 高卢人，喜欢动物吗？- 喜欢，怎么？ - You like animals, Gaul? - Yes. Why?
玩的愉快 Then you'll have fun.
百夫长们！罗马士兵们！ Centurions! Legionaries!
每名俘虏的出口有野兽 Lay your bets...
- 下注！ - 下注？下什么注？ What bets?
俘虏从门里出来，与野兽搏斗 A prisoner will enter through that door.
必须淌过水池，走到沙地上 He must cross the full length of the arena.
如果他走到这里，饶他不死 If he makes it to here, his life will be spared.
- 听懂了？- 懂了 - Get it? - Yes.
我下注，他闯不过野兽一关 放野兽是我的点子 We bet on which animal will eat him. It's my idea.
- 要是他过关了呢? - 绝对不可能 - What if he makes it? - That never happens.
若你用全部工资下注，赔率1000比1 But if you want to bet your pay at 1000-1 I'm in.
- 赌了 - 赌了 Agreed.
你的薪水？赔率1000比1？ Your pay? Thousand against one?
噢！你故意拖我下水。 我喜欢，一言为定 You've got guts. I like that. Let's shake hands.
一言为定 The bet is on.
我的俘虏呢？你说祭祀活动上能见到他 You said I'd see my prisoner at the games?
他来了，你瞧 There he is.
罗马士兵们，第一位出场的俘虏，高卢人，阿斯泰利克斯 Legionaries... The first prisoner is the Gaul Astérix!
奥贝里瑜斯！奥贝里瑜斯！ Obelus! Obelus!
变成奥贝里克斯！ Be Obélix again!
奥贝里瑜斯! Obelus!
奥贝里瑜斯！图塔蒂斯神在上！ Obelus! By Toutatis!
奥贝里瑜斯！这事怎么回事？ What's this?
太可怕了，放我出去！ I don't like this. I must get out.
干得好！漂亮！ Brave! Well done!
我的神啊，怎么会有狮子！ 欧漏 What's this? What are they doing here?
一般人会选择走出笼子 They usually prefer to get out.
担心输钱了吗 Getting worried about your bet?
后退， 后退 Down.
- 高卢人挺聪明的 - 没错 - He's smart, this Gaul. - You bet.
奥贝里克斯，快呀！奥贝里克斯！他这是傻了吗 Obélix! Do something. Don't you get it?
奥贝里克斯！ Obelix！ Obélix!
滚回笼子睡觉！滚回去！ Down! In your kennel.
前有狮子，后有大爬虫，神啊 Now it's giant lizards!
滚回去 Go sleep.
图塔蒂斯大神！ For Tutatis!
痒！ It tickles.
哦，不！ Oh, no! It tickles.
奥贝里瑜斯，图塔蒂斯神在上，变回… Obelus, by Toutatis, become...
没有人能逃脱蜘蛛池 No one's ever survived the spiders.
你输了，奥贝里瑜斯，赔率1000比1，没错吧？ You've lost, Obelus. 1000 times your pay, remember?
奥贝… Obel...
这个高卢人太厉害了 What this Gaul did is amazing!
奥贝里瑜斯！奥贝里瑜斯！图塔…安静！ Obelus! Obelus! Shut up!
奥贝里瑜斯，图塔蒂斯神…在…上… Obelus, by Tuta...! Oh, but... For Your...! Oh!
尝尝蜘蛛的味道，傻大个 Eat this, fatso.
奥贝里瑜斯，奥贝里瑜斯！奥贝里瑜斯，图塔蒂斯神… Obelus! Obelus! By Touta...
你说过，他走到这里，就饶他不死 You said if he made it, he'd live.
没错，可那是凯撒，我有王牌 Under Caesar. Me I'm entitled to a joker.
- 你的王牌是野兽？- 谁说的，他是人！ - Is the joker an animal? - Worse! He's a man!
奥贝里瑜斯，图塔蒂斯神在上 Obelus... by Toutatis!
真好笑，他好像在和你说话 Listen, I think he's talking about you.
- 他说什么？太吵了，什么也听不见 - 我会读唇语，听好 - What's he saying? I can't hear. - I'll read his lips.
- 你会读唇语？- 那当然，我具备间谍的资质 - You can read lips? - Sure. I was trained as a spy.
他这样说 He said
奥贝里瑜斯，图塔蒂斯神在上，变回奥贝里克斯，马上 "Obelus, by Toutatis, be Obélix again. Quick!"
- 你说真的？- 那当然 - 太好了 - Are you sure? - Of course! Very well, then...
放开我朋友 Hands off my pal.
妈妈咪呀！ mamma mia!
干什么呢，傻大个儿，我喊你好久了 What were you doing? I've been calling out for an hour.
- 太吵了，啥也听不见 - 快去救帕诺万能克斯 - I couldn't hear. - Let's free Getafix.
- 他在哪？- 跟我来 - Where is he? - Over there.
抓住他们 Go to them.
- 图塔蒂斯神啊。交给你了 - 包在我身上 By Toutatis! You handle it.
站住！ 士兵们，上啊，上啊！ You alone. Guards, go go.
干得漂亮，奥贝里克斯！ Brave, Obelix！ Bravo, Obélix!
快，快走，我们得离开这儿 It's okay, it just tickles.
- 不行，我讨厌蜘蛛， - 没事的，有点痒痒罢了 - 我不要过去 I hate spiders.
我有办法了 Wait!
蜘蛛全部被吹跑啦！ Let me whack a couple.
奥贝里克斯，救祭祀 Obelix, Panoramix
等等，奥贝里克斯，我示范给你看 Let me show you.
过来！咱们走 Come here! Lets go!
当心狮子！ The cats!
混蛋！ Bastards!
再见了，罗马人！ 这边 Bastards!
走这边，我们来了，帕诺万能克斯 See you, Romans!
一意吠克斯，过来 Over there. We're here, Getafix.
乖狗狗 Dogmatix! Come on, my little puppy!
奥贝里克斯 Obélix.
敌人的敌人就是我们的朋友 Our enemies' enemies are our friends.
- 你走运了，伙计 - 快点，快走 It's your lucky day, pal.
快，快 Yes, go on.
有动静，罗马人攻过来了 Alert! The Romans are attacking.
揍他们，给他们点颜色瞧瞧 We must show them, because that's it.
快走，到家了，跟上 We're home!
奥贝里克斯！如果是奥贝里克斯本人的话 It's Obélix!
当然是我，还能是谁？ Of course! Who else?
为什么穿着罗马人的衣服？ Dressed like a Roman?
等会再说 I'll explain.
他是谁？ Who's he?
我们救出的罗马俘虏 A prisoner of the Romans. We freed him.
伊梭托马提克斯, 摘下面具 Fulliautomátix, get rid of the mask.
当心点 我来 Not like that.
你在做什么？ What are you doing?
摘下面具，图塔蒂斯神在上，我命令你摘下面具 Remove the mask, by Toutatis! That's an order!
好吧好吧 You asked for it.
是他，尤利乌斯.凯撒 Julius! It's Julius Caesar.
我们抓住了尤利乌斯.凯撒, 我抓住了尤利乌斯.凯撒 Julius Caesar is my prisoner!
- 你说谁？啊？- 我们抓住了尤利乌斯.凯撒 Julius Caesar is our prisoner!
情况比你们想的要复杂 The situation is more serious than you think.
奥贝里克斯，阿斯泰利克斯，阿卜哈哈古西克斯 还有你，尤利乌斯.凯撒，我们五个人谈谈 Obélix, Astérix, Vitalstatistix, and you, Caesar... we must talk.
我先换换衣服，假扮罗马人真是够了 I must change clothes. I'm sick of being a Roman.
德特里瑜斯的军队，随时可能攻打我们 Detritus's army will soon attack us.
他们的人数是我们的千倍 They outnumber us 1000-1.
- 一千倍？- 我们有魔法药水 - Is that all? - We have the potion.
锅子里只剩一点点了 Only enough for one pot.
- 罗马人也有 - 什么？ - They too have it now. - What?
德特里瑜斯设计逼我熬制魔法药水 Detritus forced me to make it.
他只到手一小锅而已 Only one pot.
他们人数上占优势，再加上魔法药水 They outnumber us.
形式对他们更加有利 The potion will tip the scales in their favour.
到时候，村子 Then our village will be
将从地图上永远消失 wiped off the map for ever
德特里瑜斯还会除去凯撒，您说呢，凯撒？ and Caesar will be killed by Detritus. - What do you think, Caesar?
您说的很对，祭司先生 What you say is right, Druid.
我有一个提议 But I want to make you an offer.
如果你们助我重获权利 If you help me back into power,
村子税务全免 you will be exempt from taxes.
村民们可以继续生活在罗马的法律之外 And you can continue to live outside Roman law.
- 村长，意下如何？- 有意思 - Well, Chief? - Interesting.
但是也许佩蒂伯恩成为对外贸易区，不受管辖 But it would be even better
这个提议更好 if Petitbónum became a tax-free zone.
贪心的高卢人 You go too far.
这是讨价还价的时候吗？ Stop haggling.
- 我们还有机会吗？- 机会虽小，有的 Do we stand a chance?
是吗？说吧，祭司大人 - Yes, but a very slim chance. - Tell us about it.
我能熬制威力更猛的魔法药水 I can increase the potion's power
如果加入双头独角兽的奶 by adding two-headed unicorn's milk.
双头独角兽？我出生前就灭绝了！ They've been extinct for ages!
马修萨里克斯有一瓶 Mathusálix still has a flask of their milk.
- 马修萨里克斯？他在哪？- 那个老疯子好多年都没见着了 No one's seen the old nutter for ages.
罗马人，村长，罗马人攻打村子啦！ The Romans are attacking, Chief!
哪里？ Where?
后门 The rear gate.
声东击西 他们真正的目标是前门 It's a diversion. In fact, they'll attack from the front.
- 你怎么知道？- 我发明的战术 - How do you know? - I invented this strategy.
进攻！ Attack!
- 必须找到马修萨里克斯 - 跟我来 - We must find Mathusálix. - Follow me.
- 走吧！ - 来了，来了 - Come on! - I'm coming.
马修萨里克斯，你在哪？我们需要你 Mathusálix! Where are you? We need you.
没准聋了，他得多大岁数了？ Maybe he's deaf. How old is he?
200岁 他可能藏起来了 Almost 200. He's probably hiding,
他喜欢恶作剧 he loves pranks.
马修萨里克斯! Mathusálix!
这是什么？ What's this?
- 他的胡子 - 顺着胡子找 - The end of his beard. - He must be at the other end.
- 你自己想到的？- 没错 - Figure that out by yourself? - Yes.
走吧 Let's go.
- 给我，我来 - 轻点拉，轻点 Let me do it.
- 轻点拉，奥贝里克斯 - 是的，是的，轻点 Go easy.
有了 He's stuck.
是他吗？ Is that him?
抱歉了，马修萨里克斯 事态紧急 Sorry to disturb you, Mathusálix, but it's an emergency.
我需要双头独角兽奶 We need two-headed unicorn's
村子的存亡就靠它了 milk to save our village.
等这一刻等了好久 I've been waiting for this for a long while.
双头独角兽奶不能这么轻易地交给你 You must earn the milk of the two-headed unicorn.
什么？ What?
可以给你，前提是回答我的两个问题 You can have it if you answer two questions.
你说什么？罗马人正在攻打我们！ The Romans are attacking!
别催他，他生来就是顽固之人 Don't rush him. He's stubborn as a mule.
容我提醒，问题不能答错 I warning you, you can't make any mistakes.
- 好 - 问题一 First question.
乞丐有个哥哥，哥哥死了 A beggar had a brother. The brother died.
但是哥哥活着的时候，却没有弟弟，为什么？ But while he was alive, he had no brother.
为什么？ Why?
7！ 6！ 注意注意，只剩5滴水的时间 Seven... Six... Careful only 5 drops left.
5！4！3！ Five... Four... Three...
如果你们回答不上，代我考考罗马人 If you can't guess, ask the Romans for help.
- 2！ - 乞丐是女的！ The beggar is a woman!
回答正确 Correct.
所有人！增援！ Everybody to the barricade!
喝，喝下去，我再去弄点 Drink the potion. I'll get some more.
- 进攻！ - 长官！长官！ Boss!
什么事？ Who is it?
我们处于下风，需要魔法药水！ We need some potion to match the Gauls.
不行！魔法药水是我一个人的 lmposible. It's solely for my personal use.
士兵们耗尽了体力 The troops are tired.
高卢人也累了，过不了多久，他们的魔法药水也喝完了 So are the Gauls. Soon they'll run out of potion.
回去，给我打！ Now beat it.
听好，问题二 And now the second riddle.
我既无兄弟，亦无姐妹 但是他的儿子 I have neither sister nor brother.
是我父亲的儿子，他是谁？ But this man's son is my father's son. Who is he?
二十滴！二十滴！ 20 drops...
省着点 还有阿斯泰利克斯的一份 Easy, I must keep some for Astérix.
老天爷，他们在干嘛呢！他们在干嘛呢！ What are they doing? What's keeping them?
我来和他们打！ I'll show them!
冲啊！冲啊！ Foward! Foward!
5！ Five...
等等，我想我知道答案了 - I think I know. - Say it.
4！ Four...
- 说吧，说出你的答案 - 我不确定 But I'm not sure.
管他呢，快说吧 - Three... - Go ahead.
- 你想到正确答案了吗？- 2！ - 顾不了那么多了，说啊！ - What if I'm wrong? - Two... - Never mind, say it.
- 1！ - 他，他是“我父亲” It's my father.
- 我的问题是什么来着？- 你在逗我们吗？ - What was the question again? - Is he kidding?
不是的，活到我这岁数，记性不好是常有的事，对吧？ Not at all. At my age, it's normal to have memory lapses.
我要掐死你，老滑头 I'll strangle the old gremlin.
你问“我既无兄弟，亦无姐妹。但是他的儿子 "I have neither brother nor sister,
是我父亲的儿子，他是谁？” but this man's son is my father's son. Who is he?"
- 答案是： - “我父亲” My father.
回答正确 Correct.
- 确定？- 不 - Sure? - No.
要是他这么说的话… If he says so...
我头一回遇上 It was a fluke.
- 只要答案是正确的！ - 但是我没有仔细思考 As long as it's correct...
- 脑子里一闪而过的念头 - 闭！上！你！的！嘴！ - I just blurted it out... - Shut up!
瓶子，伟大的祭司！ The flask, O Great Druid!
瓶子！ The flask!
接的漂亮！一意吠克斯！了不起 Bravo, Dogmatix! Good dog.
了不起！不愧是我的狗狗 My dog is so clever.
住手，别舀了 图塔蒂斯神在上 Stop! What are you doing? By Toutatis!
不幸中的万幸 There's some left.
- 好了，喝吧 - 奥贝里克斯也来一口？ - Here. Drink, quick. - Obélix too?
双头独角兽奶改变了魔药的本质 Yes, the unicorn milk changes the nature of the potion.
药效视人而定，你会明白的 The effect is very different. You'll see.
不错不错，独角兽奶味道很特别 Not bad. Unicorn milk adds a nice flavour.
- 我能喝吗？- 是的，快喝吧 - I can? - Since I say so. Drink.
- 会有什么变化？- 耐心点，你会明白的 - What will it do to me? - Wait and you'll see.
见识下你老子的厉害 Come to Papa!
来啊！ Foward!
进攻，上啊！ Attack! Go!
进攻！ Attack!
回去打啊！ Back into battle!
再来！ Other more.
冲啊！ There go.
胆小鬼！懦夫！可怜虫！ Cowards! Louses! Losers!
一点钟方向！两点钟方向！ At one o'clock. At two o'clock.
瞧瞧我的厉害，蠢货们！ 什么事儿都得我亲自上阵 I'll show you morons. Can't count on anyone.
野蛮人 Coarse.
- 干得漂亮！ - 真有你的 - You Did It very well. - The same to you
凯撒！ Ave Caesar.
敬礼，凯撒 敬礼，凯撒 Ave Caesar.
罗马士兵们！ Legionaries,
从现在开始，这座高卢村庄的村民是罗马的朋友 the Gauls of this village are now our friends
罗马的盟军 and allies.
解救我于德特里瑜斯的魔掌之中 They saved me from the clutches of Detritus.
没有他们，就没有我凯撒 Without them, I'd be dead.
- 你的死期到了 德特里瑜斯 - 恕罪，高贵的凯撒，恕罪 - Your time has come, Detritus. - Have mercy, noble Caesar.
我肯定是疯了，都不知道自己在做什么 I don't know what got into me. I wasn't myself.
- 失去了理智 - 你确实不知道 - I lost my head. - You said it.
等等 等等 Just a moment.
手下留情，凯撒 愿赌服输 Please don't do it, Caesar. All right, I gambled...
惩罚我吧，此事既往不咎 I gambled and lost. Punish me and let's put it behind us.
- 卑鄙小人 - 没错 - You're vile. - Precisely.
卑鄙小人，说得对 Think...
随时随刻， 您需要我这样的卑鄙小人 You always need someone vile
特别是大权在握的时候 when you're in power.
- 撒谎！ - 安静，高卢人 Quiet!
- 安静！ - 不能脏了您的手 No need to get your hands dirty.
我精通各种计谋，各种计谋！ I can do everything.
打探，告密，背叛朋友 Spy, denounce, betray my friends. My favourite!
个人嗜好！ 以及做伪证 Perjury too...
- 一切的一切 - 你令我恶心 You disgust me.
您很理解我 凯撒大帝觉得我恶心，听啊 You know me well. Did you hear? I disgust him.
凯撒，我不会让您失望的 That means I can't disappoint you.
危险，凯撒 The danger, Caesar...
危险来自于您周围背信弃义的人 The danger is all those traitors around you,
您却认为他对您忠心耿耿，一心一意？ who you think are loyal.
- 谁？- 他是… - Who do you mean? - I mean...
此地不宜谈论 I can't tell you in public.
气氛不足 凯撒 I feel uncomfortable.
凯撒 If you are interested,
如果您同意，我将上交一份名单，详谈 I'll prepare you a list and we'll discuss it.
- 带他下去 - 谢谢 Take him.
我上交的名单绝对会令您大吃一惊 I'll prepare the list. You'll be surprised.
想要背叛您的人多如牛毛 There are people waiting to stab
您的朋友，邻居，甚至亲人 you in the back. Close friends, even relatives.
您明白吗？您的亲人，凯撒！ Understand? Relatives! Ciao, Caesar.
法拉芭拉？ Falbalá...
您是我今晚亲吻的第十个奥贝里克斯 You're the tenth Obélix I've kissed tonight!
我是真正的奥贝里克斯，千真万确 But I'm the real Obélix.
其他奥贝里克斯是魔法分身 The others are just imitations.
法拉芭拉？我有话要说，有话要要告诉你 Falbalá, we need to talk. I want to ask you something.
说吧，我听着呢 Go ahead, I'm listening.
- 愿意嫁给我吗？- 你是认真的吗？ - Will you marry me? - You can't be serious.
是的，怎么了？ I am. Why?
奥贝里克斯，我很爱你，就如亲哥哥一般 Look, Obélix, I do love you, but like an elder brother,
如挚友一般 我亲爱的小熊熊奥贝里克斯 a friend, my big teddy bear.
特吉克米克斯是我的爱人，我们下个月就完婚了 But I'm in love with Tragicómix. We're getting married soon.
啊，是吗？但是我…破锣里克斯说你… Is that so? And yet Prólix told me...
破锣里克斯是骗吃骗喝的江湖术士 You know Prólix is a crook.
别难过，我不要看到你难过的样子，小熊熊 Don't be sad. It upsets me when you're sad.
法拉芭拉 Falbal?
我得走了 你生气了吗？愿意做我的朋友吗？直到永远？ I have to go. You're not mad, are you? Will you still be my friend?
我亲爱的小熊熊奥贝里克斯 愿意吗？ My big, teddy-bear-Obélix. Promise?
愿意吗？ Do you promise?
- 答应我 - 直到永远 - Tell me you promise. - Yes.
帕诺万能克斯，能再多给我点魔法药水吗？ Getafix, give me some more magic potion, please.
你说什么？村子里的奥贝里克斯还不嫌多吗？ Aren't there enough Obélixes as it is?
不是给我的 It's not for me.
法拉芭拉？能再说两句吗？ Falbalá... Can I have another word?
- 你想干什么？- 别担心 - What do you want with her? - Don't worry, we won't be long.
就一小会，法拉芭拉是你的 跟我来 Come on.
- 法拉芭拉，喝吧 - 这是什么？ - Falbalá... Drink this. - What is it?
没关系的，我也喝了 Don't worry, I've had some too.
求求你，喝了吧 全当是为了我 Go ahead, please. Do it for me.
好喝吗？ Is it nice?
还行 Not bad.
- 但是… - 但是？ - But... - What?
太好了 回到你的心上人特吉克米克斯身边吧 You can go back to your Tragicómix.
愿意陪陪我吗？ And you? Do you mind staying with me?
多好的气氛 我走了 I think I'm in the way. I'll leave you two alone.
法拉芭拉 Falbalá.
- 罗马人，为你的健康干杯 - 阿斯泰利克斯，为你的健康干杯 - To your health, Romans! - To yours, Astérix!
肥皂泡 See that?
一个人真好，看都看够了 About time! There were too many of me.
我也是 Me too.
要喂饱他们得多少头野猪啊 Yes. Imagine how many boars you'd need to feed them all!
奥贝里克斯 ,奥贝里克斯 ,奥贝里克斯 ! Obélix, Obélix, Obélix!
奥贝里克斯消失了 Obélix has disappeared.
你是说分身奥贝里克斯？ You mean his doubles?
真身不见了 找遍了村子都没有找着他 No, all of them! All gone.
- 你害死了我朋友 - 冷静 - You've killed my friend! - Calm down!
真正的奥贝里克斯在别处 你不是好好的吗 The real Obélix must be around. You're here, aren't you?
- 没准我也会消失 - 不会的 I may disappear too.
你怎么知道？以前喝过双头独角兽奶？ How do you know? Have you used that milk before?
我？没有 马修萨里克斯经常喝 No, but Mathusálix has often used it.
如果有副作用的话，他早就警告我了 He would have warned me of any side effects.
警告！ 那个老古董是个疯子！ That old goat has a sick mind.
我不允许你说我曾祖父的坏话 Don't insult my great-grandfather.
他教会了我一切 怎么了？ He taught me everything. What's wrong?
很异常的感觉 整个人变得空洞 I feel weird. As if I'm empty inside.
我要变成肥皂泡泡啦 I'm going to turn into soap bubbles.
瞧啊，开始了 腿，脚关节 痒痒难耐 That's it, it's happening. My legs tickle. My ankles too.
除非是意吠克斯在挠我 If the one that tickles me is ideafix.
乖狗狗，你想做什么？出什么事了？带我去哪？ What do you want, boy? Why are you tugging at me?
有男人趁机占便宜的 Some would abuse this situation.
- 你不会？- 我？不会的，不会的 - But not you? - No, not me.
- 不是的，我本不想… - 吻我吧，你这个大呆瓜 - Not that I don't want to. - Come on, kiss me, you big oaf.
亲嘴巴？ On the mouth?
法拉芭拉 Falbalá!
- 奥贝里克斯 奥贝里克斯 - 法拉芭拉 - Obelix，Obelix - Falbal?
- 是你吗？老伙计？- 法拉芭拉 Is it you? The one and only?
当然是我， 怎么了？ Of course I'm me. Why?
其他的奥贝里克斯化成肥皂泡 飞走了 All the other Obélixes and Astérixes have vanished.
- 其他的阿斯泰利克斯 也飞走了 - And the other ones, Asterix, also.
- 就像法拉芭拉 是的，就像法拉芭拉 真倒霉 - Like Falbalá? - Yes - Tough luck, hey?
- 特别是法拉芭拉 - 没错 法拉芭拉 - Yes especially for... - Falbalá.
来吧，我们走吧 俗话说不合适的爱情就像肥皂泡，来得快去得快 Come on. Broken hearts soon mend.
时间留下的是美好回忆 你还有我 You'll keep the nice memories. And you'll always have me.
- 是啊，至少还有你 - 幸运儿 I'm so lucky.
终于！… Ah, finally!
喂！ 等等我 Hey! Wait for me.
- 凯伊瑜斯.拨来瑜斯 - 不要，我受够了 - Ah! Caius Bonus! - No! Enough!
最后一次，绝无下例 One more. For the last time.
- 代我向埃及人问好（电影第二部《埃及女王的任务》）- 人影都没了 - Say hi to the Egyptians. - Caius is gone.
全走光了，没人陪我玩了 Everyone's gone. Not even one is left.
开心点，奥贝里克斯 我们赢了，大获全胜 Don't pull that face, Obélix. It's a victory, we've won!
是啊，可我啥也没捞着 Maybe. But I've lost everything.
朋友们 Friends,
今晚 让我们开怀庆祝 tonight we're celebrating two major events.
我们击退了罗马人 Our victory over the Romans...
小时候你掉进药水锅 As a kid, you fell into the magic potion...
奥贝里克斯 Obélix!
友谊 宴会 罗马人 生日蛋糕 Feasting with friends, whacking Romans...
奥贝里克斯 Obélix!
力大无比的石柱搬运工 Always carrying a menhir...
奥贝里克斯 Obélix!
爱情令你脸红红 永远长不大的 Love makes you blush, but you never age...
奥贝里克斯 Obelix
生日蛋糕！ And now... The cake!
归你了 凯撒的贺礼 They're yours. Courtesy of Caesar.
上啊 奥贝里克斯 Happy Birthday, Obélix.
你 对，你，你 You.
你啊你啊你 Yes, you.
- 瞄准 - 不 - Here. - No!
- 揍我 - 不 - Hit me there. - No!
动手 Yes.
下手太狠了 蛋糕没了 He hits too hard. And he'll just swallow the cake.
老早就提醒他 他这个贪吃鬼 I keep telling him he's a greedy-guts!
奥贝里克斯 ，奥贝里克斯 Obelix，Obelix
放我下来 我要高歌 I want to sing!